Bachelorette Parteh...Bangali Style! The 'Ai Buro Bhaat'

Giggles. Sighs. The soft rasp of silk, georgette and taat. The tinkling of glass bangles. Muted sounds of cutleries being laid out and music and laughter coming from the vicinity of the house somewhere. The soft hint of aromas of elaborately prepared food wafting in the air, drowning out that of expensive perfumes. Yes. It’s a party. But not just any kind of party. It’s that special, special party which is held in honour of the bachelorette before she embarks on a journey that has no maps and no finite destination. An un-chartered territory for every single girl out there, standing on the brink of matrimony.

In our part of the world, the so-called bachelorette party hardly resembles the ones of the West. For generations, the rich and time-honoured traditions of the ‘Ai Buro Bhaat’ have been carried down to these modern times. It’s more than just the ritual 'last rich meal' that is eaten by the bride, as a still-single woman in her own home, before the actual wedding ceremony takes place. Though the reasons for having an Ai Buro is still as good a guess as yours or mine (or anyone else for that matter), it’s believed that in the not-so-long-ago past, because weddings were arranged, the bride rarely ever got to have any part to play in the decision of marriage. Hence it was quite natural that as the days drew near for her to be married and sent off to her in-laws’ home, she’d start having the so-called pre-wedding jitters...about a hundred and one issues.

And so, as one of my long-time ‘sisters’ and confidantes, Deneb Zinat Latif, explained, “The Ai Buro was a way to get the women of the family together to calm the bride-to-be, give her good advice, bless her and also celebrate her entering into a new phase of her life. After this day, she usually would be given a diet of light, easily digestible food and extra care used to be taken of her skin, etc., so that she’d be glowing on her wedding day. Traditionally it’s only done for the bride, though these days you do get to hear about Ai Buro Bhaat for the groom, which is kind of odd since the word ‘Ai Buro’ refers to an unmarried young woman!! But whichever the case, no one from the future in-law’s side of the family are invited.”

Though strictly meant to be a family affair, these days bosom buddies of the bride also join in on the fun. In fact, nowadays you’ll see male family members joining in as well, in what traditionally used to be a women-only event. They share their marriage anecdotes and though they don't have active roles, some even contribute with dishes made on their own for the special day. Needless to say, since food is such an integral part of our Bangali culture, the Ai Buro is nothing short of a pot-luck feast for lunch, consisting of Bangali delicacies such as polao, chicken roast, beef bhuna, various fish curries, steamed prawn curry with coconut milk, vegetables, rice, daal (pulses), and an array of sweets, mainly kheer (grounded rice cooked with milk, sugar, raisins and nuts). All these are prepared by the various family members of the bride – dishes that she loved having in each of their homes. The bride doesn’t eat by herself but is fed by the guests one by one, usually beginning with the grandparents and moving on to parents, aunts, uncles and later the siblings, cousins and friends. Then everyone helps themselves to the food, and lunch is followed by an ‘anecdote-cum-advice’ session. Sometimes special doa mehfils precede the lunch, held by a lady moulvi sahiba, blessing for a happy union.

Everyone’s emotions during the occasion, naturally runs deep. Deneb spoke of her own memories, “My Ai Buro Bhaat was held 4 days before my wedding at my chachi's 0068ouse and it was so wonderful. I could really feel the outpouring of love that each family member had for me. Everyone had taken the trouble to make something special just for me. The atmosphere was festive, fun, cozy and very loving. I got advice about marriage and stuff but all with a good bit of humor mixed in. There were a few times when it occurred to me that this was the last time I’d be hanging out with them like this and next time when there is such an event, I’d be a married woman. You feel the sorrow of leaving a familiar life and entering into something new.” When I asked my long-time friend and sister-in-law, Tanzeem, how she’d felt, she reminisced, “You’ll feel torn between a mixture of emotions. One minute you’re happy to be moving ahead, while the very next you notice changes in you, your life, the relationships you have with everyone around you. You start being teased as ‘Oi barir bou’ and ‘Ei barir meye’. The Ai Buro marks the last day of bachelorette era before all the frenzy of the biye bari (a home where a wedding is taking place). Trust me, everyone in the meye’r biye bari experiences, along with the fun and laughter of a wedding taking place, the sorrow of someone being separated from one’s family and becoming part of a new extended one. Having those long chats, with peers and siblings who have gone through similar phases, do help.

As for the special bond between the bride and her mother during this time; one can only refer to it as being bittersweet. Nazma Quadir lovingly spoke of the fears her daughter had expressed to her right before the onset of her marriage; it was almost as if her little girl was back, looking in hope at her mother, the one person who could put all her apprehensions at rest. “I was so proud and so sad all at the same time. My daughter had grown into this beautiful, lively and confident young lady, about to become truly independent and responsible for her new life, but I was also having to see her leave.” Tanzeem elaborates, “One way to look at it, is how the daughters can get one more step closer to the moms as they get married and later on even more so when they have children of their own. Those in fights over everything in life can call a truce to enjoy and appreciate each other’s wisdom, personality and traits.”

Needless to say if you’re planning to hold your own Ai Buro Bhaat, you should realize by now that it’s meant to be strictly informal and restricted to family members and very special friends only. It’s an event to bring the family together, so if someone in the family wants to be the host, by all means let her be so. You might have to explain to some people what this is if they are not familiar with it. Don't try to over-plan it or make it a huge, gala affair. If you want to have a theme for the party, stick to the simple-&-minimalist, like decor, food or dress-wise but not going for all three all at once! If people want to render songs and dances, sans practice or planning, by all means let them. As a parent, you can arrange a simple slideshow from home videos or photographs of your daughter growing up. As for bringing gifts for the bride, it isn’t a mandatory custom and should be left up to the guests’ discretion. As Nazma Quadir explained, “I recall many Ai Buros, also known as ‘Kheer’ in many parts of Bangladesh, where family members would first feed the bride a spoonful of kheer, and then leave a small amount of cash underneath a shorposh (food cover). These days many bride-to-bes are presented with gifts ranging from cash to sharis or dress materials to everyday-wear jewellery. But this ritual wasn’t followed in either mine or my daughter’s Ai Buro”.

The final take-out is quite simple. The idea is to enjoy and have fun with one’s family in a casual, easy-going atmosphere but more importantly to truly appreciate the love the bride-to-be’s family has for her. That is the only thing that should matter in the end, when all is said and done.

Gun-Gun Gaye-Halud

If someone where to ask me what are the things that constitute as major pains in the a.. uhh.. tush, I’d say sitting for hours on end like a statue during your own Gaye Halud (which literally means turmeric on the body) and wedding has got to make the top five on the list.

I don’t know which one is the lesser of the two evils though. I think..umm..the Wedding? Yes. I mean just think. In the Gaye Halud, it’s traditional to sit with your legs folded under you...and yes...guys have it easier, being able to sit cross-legged...darn it! Naturally after several torturous hours of sitting in this awkward pose, you realize your lower half has gone totally numb and that as soon as you’ll try to change your position, you’ll feel as if a thousand pins and needles are attacking your legs. Then there’s the torment of having ‘kacha haldi baata’ smeared on your face, which if you have sensitive skin, can make you face feel as if it were on fire after a while. Many people these days, in need of salvation from this torture, have resorted to using uptaan. In a wedding, you at least don’t have to go through such horrendous ordeals. Not that sitting in a throne-like chair like a beautiful statute and having camera lights pointed at you for hours on end is anything to laugh about.

But wait. I do believe I’m painting too black a picture of what is perhaps the one occasion in a wedding where everyone gets to have the most fun. I mean where else do you get the meye pokhkho and cheley pokhkho each enjoying the fun of dressing up in their own respective similar, themed clothes? Or to perform parody songs meant to rib the bride or the groom and their young family members? I’ve even seen short skits being performed – say where the bride’s cousins acted in comic roles portraying someone from the groom’s side of the family, again all in good fun. And where else do you get to have a whole separate box of funny, humorous items as ‘gifts’ for the groom during the Cheler Gaye Halud? Where else but here do all the young ladies and gents of the biye bari get to flirt and check each other out and perhaps, after the main ritual of giving gaye halud is over, even cut a little rug on a make-shift dance floor to the thumping tunes of the latest Hindi number. The Gaye Halud of course.

So yes, this is one event during your entire Wedding where you get to have the most fun and so you’d like it to be abso-freaking-lutely perfect. And in my opinion, though every single aspect of the Gaye Halud, from the stage and flower arrangement to the food to how and with what gifts the groom’s family will be welcomed counts, I think it’s very crucial that one designs the cultural program for the Gaye Halud properly. After all if the entertainment and music is all “blah!” everyone will leave feeling all “blah!” as well! Not an outcome one wants to end up encountering in one’s picture-perfect wedding.

So first and foremost if you’re planning to have your siblings, nieces or cousins rendering songs, skits and dance routines, you should ensure that you or someone capable enough design the whole program schedule so that each song, skit and dance takes place in an orderly sequence. The key point is a smooth-as-butter transition.

For dance routines I wish people would choose Bangla songs like Jadu (Habib), Miththey Prem (Yaatri) or Shukno Patar Nupur Paye (Fuad featuring Mila) rather than the Hindi numbers. I’d prefer to leave those for the DJ or hired band to belt out for the dance party later on – if you’re planning to have a DJ or live band that is.

For rendering songs, age old numbers like Lila Bali, Biyar Shajoni Shajo Konnalo and Halud Bato, Mehendi Bato are good choices. As for parodies, some family members with good penmanship needs to sit down and simply change certain wordings of popular songs like Abar Jigai (Stoic Bliss), Pan Khaiya Thot Lal Korilam, Shonen Shonen Shudhi Jona, etc, to turn into hilarious accounts. And there is of course the infamous Puthi Path. Skits can be just as easily written out, but in the end all these separate routines – songs, dance sequence, skits, etc. – need to be practiced from at least two months before the actual event. I say two as I’m assuming everyone has their own busy schedule and they can’t just drop everything at the last moment and make it to practice every other day, so it’s a good idea to put the weekends to good use.

And yes a good quality sound system is a must. I mean just imagine. You and your Machiavellian family members will slave over writing some jolly good parodies and skits, but if all that the guests and bride/groom’s family end up hearing are garbled noises...well...that’s a perfect “Aaarrggh!” situation I’d say. In any case, a pair of bad speakers ends up giving everyone a splitting headache. So arrange for a good sound system! Many good bands and DJs these days come with a ‘package’ offer – musical instruments, sounds, lights – the whole thingamajig. You need to make sure from your end that you specify your expectations properly as they can offer you a range of rates as per your requirements. Also, if you have a favourite “track list” of Bangla, Hindi and English numbers which you’d like the band or the DJ to perform, than you need to tell them the list at least a month or three days beforehand respectively.

At end of the day “planning ahead” should become your mantra as it’s the only thing that will ensure that everything comes together without a hitch. But do make sure you don’t fall into the trap of becoming obsessive compulsive. “Delegating” should be your other mantra. You wedding is suppose to be your moment of joy and triumph and not end up giving you high blood pressure, raw nerves and dark circles under your eyes. Before going to bed each night, sit back against you fluffed-up pillows on your bed with a cup of hot, relaxing, aromatic tea and in an un-hurried and un-harried manner, make a list for everything that needs to be done, including what needs to be bought/hired when, from where and within what budget. Then, in due time just hand it over to the most-competent person to manage and implement. You? You should be nothing more than an “ad-hoc supervisor”.

Well then...I hope you get to have tons of fun planning for and then enjoying your Gaye Halud (your whole wedding to be precise) to the hilt. Bon voyage on you new life journey!

For sound/light systems:
1. Sound Machine: 8317601, 9343628, 01817042270, 01915472700, 01915472704
2. Sound Storm: 01711537571
3. SAS Compact Tunes: 8319898, 01711521142
4. Live Sound: 01713014991

Marriage to Music or Just an Affair? - Aug 7, 07

"The music business was not safe, but it was FUN. It was like falling in love with a woman you know is bad for you, but you love every minute with her anyway. - Lionel Richie

Music as a career. The very idea seems kind of alien, right? After all, here it’s still pretty much a taboo issue, especially if you’re coming from an average, well-to-do, middle-class family. The so-called ‘bhalo-ghorer-chele-meyera-eshob-korena’ syndrome is paramount in our society. As one friend joked “I’d probably have to kiss getting married goodbye if my biodata said ‘musician’ instead of ‘software engineer’”.

Ironically, most of the musicians I know all had their moms initiating them into the wee world of music. Tanvir Alam, aka Shawjeeb of ‘Chaka’ fame, enthused, “Parents’ interest matter a lot. Yes it’s true that you need a god-gifted talent first. But then when one’s parents recognizes that gift and tries to nurture it, that’s when the whole story begins. But for the story to keep on being told, you yourself must have the realization of what a precious gift you’ve been given and then nurture it. Not at your parent’s prodding.”

However, no parent really wants to encourage their kids to take up music as their sole profession. Parents would rather have doctors or engineers in the family. And their fears have solid grounds. Almost every single musician I chatted with, be it teens in underground bands or seasoned veterans, had to say the same thing about Bangladesh’s music industry, “We need major reforms or else reality bites – way too hard.”

My friend Ali, who is ReBORN’s vocalist, expressed, “Most artists, especially the new entrants and non-commercial ones, are being taken advantage of by major labels. Career wise it’s a bad lookout for musicians here who don't want to make commercial music…like us for instance. International exposure, at least in Calcutta, would be great but the music labels here don’t even do a proper job of promoting your music across your own country, forget distant shores.”

Although having a very musical family to help encourage and support him, independent producer/vocalist/lyricist and CEO of Bengal Music, Shayan Chowdhury aka Arnob has worked hard at making a successful career for himself. He explained “Music as a career is hard. Unless you’ve the grit to sacrifice a lot of things, I’d advice that you have a separate professional career and do music on the side. Otherwise it doesn’t pay. You have to survive by doing jingles, drama/movie scores, etc. Just doing albums won’t be enough even if you’re concentrating only on profit-oriented commercial music. The profits hardly outweigh the costs. Say one wants to work with musicians outside. Who’ll bear the traveling expenses? Exchanging files over the net is all very good but it’s WAY different than creating music together inside a studio. It’s just not financially feasible for most people.”

He and other musicians also expressed their wish for a union or government body who’d implement legal issues dealing with standard pricing, intellectual copyrights, and especially royalties. Aronnya’s guitarist/lyricist/vocalist Dipto pointed out, “The radio channels are playing our songs, there are midis, ringtones being made by telecom companies, websites are giving away our stuff for free downloads…yes, we’re grateful because that’s all helping to contribute to our fame but what about our share of the fortune?”.

Arnob, Dipto and other musicians also stressed that fact that music education needs to see major forefronts. Arnob explained “Chayanot or Dhaka University’s Shongeet O Nattokola are good but teaches only the basics of Eastern music. That starts you off well enough but then what? Music is a process of continuous learning. The whole process of becoming a better musician is a series of 'aha!' experiences. It's not gradual, or steady, or step-wise. And the more you learn the more you can experiment. You need to go on learning your whole life and it doesn’t end with just learning how to sing a particular type of song or playing a certain type of instrument. You need to learn the harmonics of music. The history of music. The different raags in Eastern music. You need to appreciate art in it’s every form, not just in terms of music. Otherwise you can’t think out of the box.”

Triloy’s keyboardist, Apu and I were discussing how it would be wonderful to have people teaching music under one roof – a proper institution so to speak. For that to happen, someone needs to take the initiative to assemble the human resource and other assets required. The lack of good teachers is a major barrier. We don’t really have people in our country who can teach Western music and the respective instruments – the piano, the violin, the sax, the clarinet, etc – professionally. And I seriously wish someone would think of introducing music as a subject in the primary and secondary schools. I mean just think – it’s been scientifically proven that instrumental music enhances one’s mathematical skills and intelligence levels. That should be an incentive in itself!

But is the picture all bleak? If that were the case, why are more and more people trying to enter the industry? Isn’t the mirror always suppose to have two faces?

Well, one positive trend we’re seeing now is the amount of opportunities and resources available to pursue your musical ambitions. There’s easier access to musical instruments and equipment. And instead of scourging for old hand-me-down music magazines, you have the net to do anything from downloading guitar tabs, to advancing your musical knowledge, to promoting your music. Recently I opened my own music page on Myspace, which is brilliant for generating interest - people can hear your music all over the world at the touch of a button and it's a good way of letting people know about your gigs.

Ashiq of RaaGa also mentioned how the advent of music channels like MTV and Vh1 was not only exposing people to different genres of music but was preventing the yester years’ trend of ‘copying’ music. He stated, “Inadvertently this forces you to explore your own talent and make something from scratch. You grow more.”

And these days regular gigs like “Friday 6 PM KOZMO (A)live” at KOZMO Lounge and “Wireless Sessions” at Decagon Café are also helping to create a platform for budding musicians to showcase their talents.

And if you can turn your back on all the social shackles during the initial stages of your struggle and become a rockstar…well, the society then runs after you. And a career in music doesn’t necessarily mean you have to do albums. There are many session artists who’re earning around 1 lakh taka per month just by playing in gigs or working on albums with music producers and artists. That’s big money.

It’s like how Mr. Richie put it above. Here’s a situation where you fall passionately in love with a woman, who’s a tad dangerous but oh so addictive. Who knows? If all goes well, you could just end up marrying her after all and live happily ever after.

Monsoon Magic - June 7, 07

Every….Single….Time. Undeniably. Irrevocably. There’s no avoiding it. Each and every time the skies above me darken as the rumbling clouds gather before opening their arms wide open to set forth the cool, cool monsoon breeze, I wake up.

What I mean to say is that it may be in the wee hours of the early morning, say around 4 a.m., or during a lazy, weekend afternoon, when I’m totally lost in blissful slumber, that without a doubt, an imminent storm will wake me up. There simply has to be an invisible connection between the onslaught of rain and my biological clock. Mind you, I’m no light sleeper. Nothing short of a blaring alarm clock (or my ma banging on the door non-stop) will wake me up. So the only conclusion left to make is that I have an undeniable love affair with monsoon in all its glory.

It all starts with the calm before the storm. The so-called calmness is just a façade. You can actually sense the throbbing pulse of suppressed excitement of the imminent downpour to follow. I can feel it beating in my pulse and it literally makes me pace the floor of my bedroom and veranda… waiting… waiting… when suddenly, out of the blue, I’ll spy some errant leaves swirling in a burst of air and just scant seconds later that sensuous, erotic touch of the wind that’s so much a part of a storm will start ebbing and flowing. Go on. Take a deep, deep breath. Now wouldn’t you say that that has got to be the one of the richest legacies that Mother Nature has given us?

One reason I think I love the rain so much is because of all the wonderful memories that are tied to the monsoon season. I still recall how my ma would help me and my elder brother, Sakib, tear up used pages from our revision copies and make paper boats, big and small, to set adrift on the puddles and streams of rain water that would collect in the cervixes and hollows on the ground. Then there’s getting wet in the rain while feeling your toes sink in the warm, wet earth below and the grass tickling your feet. The best part about this is that you have all your clothes on which somehow heighten the enjoyment of it all. Don’t ask my why for I have no clue.

And how can we forget all the ritualistic food??! Piping hot tea or coffee with crispy muri bhaja with zesty shorishar tel and onions. Or if it’s lunch time then bhuna khichuri with spicy beef or fried fish. And since it is the monsoon season, it means that the dining table will include your homemade, yummy mango chutneys. The ones made by your nani or dadi always taste the best. Oh! Speaking of mangoes, they’re a constant element when it comes to dessert as well! And lichies, which we skin and refrigerate in a box so that they taste like frozen sorbets, makes their perfect dessert-dating partner.

See? It has to be the memories.

Just three days back, right on cue at 6 a.m., I woke up. I was a little disoriented at first and couldn’t put my finger on what it was exactly that had broken my sleep. Then I heard it. The wailing sound of the wind rushing through the leaves of the trees. I got up in a flash, all the sleep gone from my eyes and ran towards my window to throw back the drapes and the shutters. And smiled. Because I knew that in just a little while, I’d be on my way to making some more memories. Memories of monsoon magic.

Trip to Tong-land - June 7, 07

Road trips. Or train journeys. Ok. Here’s a quick multiple choice question quiz as to what’s the best part about such sojourns, be it cruising down the roads in your car or chugging down the railways of our country to some far off, distant place.

Yes, yes. I know. Some of you might claim that it’s the beautiful sceneries that zip past the windows. Music aficionados might sing off-key praises about the importance of arranging all the amazing and ‘feel good’ music in your mp3 or your car’s CD collection – the ultimate ‘road trip’ or ‘train journey’ playlist. Alright, I admit that these have to be a quintessential part of the whole traveling experience but aren’t we forgetting the one thing that is absolutely unique to our country? Any guesses? Anyone? No? Sigh! How can we leave out or survive without our tong’er dokans. They should have reached a cult-status by now…

One has to admit that once you start feeling all the cramps and aches and pains down your legs and back (or alternately your bladder starts protesting against incessant pressure), it feels like absolute heaven to stop the car by a quaint, little roadside tea stall and get down to stretch a little (or alternately put your bladder to rest nearby some unresisting shrub).

The creaking, wooden benches, permanent appendages in front of the stall, somehow feel way more comfortable than the seats of your car and the tiny cups seem to be just the perfect size for holding the right amount of tea. Talking about the tea…the guys who run these places seem to have down making sickeningly, sweet dudh cha (milk tea) down pat. But strangely enough, they don’t taste sickening on these trips. In fact, they seem to morph into the best damn tasting tea ever made on the face of this planet. The rong cha (milk-less tea) taste equally good with the water taking on this interesting, slippery texture due to being simmered over the stove non-stop in a metal pot.

As for the proprietors I just mentioned. Well. Somehow my dad, or my uncle, or my brother – yes, it’s this guy thing – always seem to end up striking up with them what seems to be the most riveting conversations this side of a cocktail party. Must be something in the tea.

The road trips aside, the train journeys have their own perks when it comes to these tong’er dokans. There’s not a lot of walking you can do inside a cramped train and not surprisingly the stopovers en-route to your destination feels like mini-trips within your big trip. The tea stalls bear gratifying similarities to their roadside cousins, thank god, and the best part about such stops is that there’s always this little drama involved of making sure one doesn’t miss the train. Yes. Run, baby, run.

For those of you who’re completely in the mist about what I’ve written so far, I’d recommend that you ask someone within your circle of friends, who’s a road trip or train journey connoisseur, to take you on one. After that, if you don’t re-read this article and go “Ah!” then I should take up another career like say…traveling. Here that rapid-fire tinkle of a spinning spoon inside a tea cup? That’s a tonger dokan calling out to me to do just that.

Want to go for a ride?

Showcase of Summer Get-aways - May 19, 07

With temperatures racing upwards every day, you sure don't need to be reminded that summer’s here. The fluctuating temperatures between the hot, humid outdoors and the cool confines of AC’ed rooms have clothes sticking to you as soon as you step outside, not to mention giving you severe cases of dreaded summer colds. Besides, one’s precious ACs are of no use with our famed powercuts and loadshedding. The heat seems to make you more sluggish at work and all you feel is like taking a break from it all and spending some time with mother nature as your only company, albeit with all the basic amenities near at hand so that you don’t need a vacation from the vacation you’re taking! The best part about getting away during the summer is that since it’s off season, the hotel prices are nearly slashed to half their peak rates and the ‘holidaying crowd’ is blessedly minimal. Translation? You can really enjoy a trip in true solace and silence.

Approximately only a 4 hours drive by car or bus from Dhaka, how about traveling to the lush and lovely tea gardens Sylhet is so famous for? There is the beautiful Zakaria City and Jaflong, and you might also want to include a visit to the shrine of Hajrat Shahjalal (R) and take in the mesmerizing effect of the water fall, Madhabkunda. Enjoy the Monipuri Tribal maidens doing their famous dance for you, and besides checking out the shopping malls there, be sure to drop in at London Fried Chicken, a local franchise company in town opened by a guy from London, said to have some of the best fried chicken you’ve had for ages.

Let’s by-pass the rather clichéd Cox’s Bazaar shall we? Let’s foray into a place a little bit more difficult to access but well worth the effort. All you romantics will surely love Kuakata, locally known as Shagor Konnya (Daughter of the Sea), the only beach in Bangladesh where you can enjoy watching both sunrises and sunsets. Kuakata means “digging a well” and there’s a two hundred year old kua (well) here built by the Rakhine tribe, who’ve settled in Kuakata from Myanmar. Keranipara is the nearest Rakhine village from the beach, where you can visit a 100 year old Buddhist temple named “Seema Mandir” with an incarnation of Buddha made of eight different metals. Parjatan Holiday Homes at Kuakata is the safest and coziest place to stay although there are a number of other hotels around the badh (dam).

In Rangamati, you can enjoy the wondrous beauty of Khagrachori waterfall, the blue, blue water of the man-made Kaptai Lake with its hanging bridge, the colorful tribal life and culture, jeep rides through hills and dales, attractive handicrafts…yes the list is seemingly endless. Suvolong, surrounded by the waters of Kaptai Lake, is sure to make even the weariest hearts feel they’re on paradise – yes it’s that beautiful. And oh yes…those of you with a sweet tooth should know that the sweetmeat of Suvolong is famous for their delicious taste. Also, try to spend a night with a good book and your mp3 player on the nearby island resort “Peda Ting Ting”, which in Chakma apparently means “take food, take rest and go”. You can catch the sunset and sunrise over the lakes and mountains. The island has three cottages for rent, named “Radhamon”, “Dhonpuri” and “Tanyabi”, and a restaurant where you can enjoy indigenous specialties like chicken baked in bamboo and grilled fish fresh from the lake. Yum!

Now for all you Indiana Jones types, how about a spell at the Sundarbans or Bandarbans? I have it on good authority from my deshtrotting friends that Bengal Tours and Guide Tours have some of the best deals for these places. They offer a lot of different tour packages depending on how many days you want to stay, what kind of cabins you want in their launches, what kind of food you’d prefer, etc. But the minimum decent package would cost around BDT 5,000 to 6,000.

In Sundarbans, your main accommodation will be the launch and you can go on daily boat rides to sigh in wonder over the mangrove forests and wild deers, and gasp over large and lazy crocs sun tanning on the riverbeds. The large and lazy part is quite deceiving as I’ve seen these beasts disappear with lightening speed into the waters, when a boat gets too close for their comfort. And if you’re really desperate to spot a Royal Bengal Tiger, although chances of that are very slim, you can even stay overnight on a macha (wooden watching tower) at Hiran Point…if you want to, given that the guides won’t stay with you or take any such responsibility otherwise. They’ll simply leave you there around dusk with a lantern, food and blankets. If you survive the ordeal, they’ll come to fetch you come next morning. Unless you have nine lives, best not indulge in such daredevil acts. For those of you not interested in roughing it and prefer soaking in art, history and culture, try visiting the shrine of Lalan Shah or the Shilaidaha Thakur Bari, where you can see the daily usage materials of Rabindranath Tagore’s family.

Bandarban, wilder than the other two hill districts, Khagrachari and Rangamati, boasts deep forests, high hills, innumerable springs and the simple life of the tribes. There are 11 different tribes living in Bandarban, so it’s a town of mixed cultures. Besides the tribal people’s holy places, there are Hindu temples, Kangs (Buddhist temples), mosques and churches. Bandarban is ideal for trekking and hiking. An exciting and popular trekking route is that to Keokradong, the highest peak in Bangladesh, and staying overnight in a tribal village is a requisite of this trip. It’s also possible to cover the second highest peak, Tahjingdong in the same trekking route. And for those of you who might not find all that walking up their pants, you can try out the “Quantum Meditation Resort”, established in Lama, for some spiritual pursuit in natural surroundings.

So if you’re feeling as if the summer heat’s making Dhaka life even more oppressive than usual, simply get away from the chaos of modern life and rejuvenate in the natural surroundings of our beautiful mother land. Just one last word of advice. Do make Odomos your best friend during these trips and not the mosquitoes...haha – bon voyage!

Useful links:
http://www.bengaltours.com/index.html#
http://www.guidetours.com/home.html
http://www.bangladeshecotours.com/bangla.html
http://www.bdyellowbook.com/catalog/Tour___Travel/
http://www.quanfey.org/Pages/MeditationResort.html

Spiralling Down The Unsafe Sex Road

“Birds do it, Bees do it,
Even educated fleas do it.
Let's do it, Let's fall in love"
~ Cole Porter

Farhana* aged 16, was at a party at a popular club in town with her 19 year old current boyfriend, Jamshed. The drugs and alcohol were flowing freely, she was high on both and at one point, she and Jamshed find an empty room and start getting physical. Jamshed had been asking her a lot lately about having sex. She felt guilty every time he made comments like 'I love you. I want to be with you like forever...marry you, have kids, go the whole way. I think the time's right...we should do it now. Don't you love me? Looks like you don't.” She'd kept dodging the issue but tonight she felt giddy and the inhibitions she'd been having were blissfully absent. And so in a dark, deserted, bare-of-furniture room, Farhana 'made love' with the 'guy of her dreams'. Without a condom.

Bombarded with mixed messages, hormones racing at the speed of light, trapped by taboos that don't answer their questions, more teens these days are doing a whole lot more than just 'falling in love'. If you think promiscuity is just a disease of the West and 'it's better here' where adolescents here are protected by a cocoon of 'culture', you're in for a very rude awakening.

Last week, two of our correspondents got into a conversation with some young people about their views on relationships and dating. What they heard was jarring enough to set them on a quest of discovery, and this week, we share their findings. Be prepared for the disturbing truth...

“It's such a common scene”, exclaims Maheen, aged 17. “The guys make the girls believe that everything's perfect and somehow pursue them to go for it. They sweet-talk the girls. Nowadays having sex means proving your love's true worth. I think they all just want to go physical and are using love as a scapegoat! There's nothing much to do here and girls aren't given a lot of freedom to pursue their interests. They're looking for all the thrills that they can get and this is one of the most forbidden of all the thrills.”

Adnan, aged 20, tells us of his friends who regularly schedule their activities at his place, sometimes even on an everyday basis. I think there's too much sex on TV R-rated movies that don't promote condoms or anything. And there's overuse of drugs and drinks. It's so widely available nowadays. 'Good weed' costs only Taka 80 here. That's cheap. You get high; then you go crazy.”

With more and more of this city's urbane teens falling into this trap, there is increased peer pressure on those who don't have 'someone special' and haven't done 'it'. Furthermore, teens who use alcohol or drugs are more likely to go for it than those who don't, as they're more likely to engage in risky behaviour.

“Teen sex is definitely on the rise”, stated Dr Dilruba Nilufar, consultant gynaecologist at the Dhaka Mahanagar Hospital. While not many studies have been conducted on this subject, the frequency of young, unmarried girls below the age of 18 seeking help regarding pregnancies, STDs and other sex-related problems has increased over the past couple of years. She places the starting age for such cases at 15-16 years.

But even sober teens are having unprotected sex. Why? Mainly because they're either unaware of the risks involved or are living in a sense of false security. Obviously, teens consider casual sex partners risky. Yet teens' decisions to use condoms are based more on a partner's attitudes toward condoms than on their own perception of risk. And teens may feel a false sense of security about main partners. False because so many teens with main partners also have casual partners. And it's false because serial monogamy having one “main” partner for a brief time and then another isn't an effective safe-sex strategy. Sexual health may be jeopardized when one partner views the relationship as a mutually committed one but the other partner doesn't which is the case here most of the time. One must take into account that the starting age for many of these teens is very low. At this point of time, although they cannot really claim complete ignorance about the risks and the import of what they're doing (heck, with the media's obsession with the birds and bees, you have to be a hermit not to know) their knowledge is largely incomplete, and this, combined with their devil-may-care attitude towards the whole thing, is just a time-bomb waiting to explode.

It's absolutely crucial to stress the need for consistent condom use regardless of the teen's feelings toward the partner, sense of the partner's commitment, or the length of the relationship.

Missed Calls

From the heavens to the womb to the heavens again
From ending to ending, never got to begin
~ Flipsyde

As irresponsible as these youngsters are being about their own lives, they are also playing with the lives of others, especially when pregnancy comes to play. According to information gathered from a counselling centre, there are two types of teens who come to the counselling seeking advice regarding pregnancy. A significant number of them are young girls from lower-middle income groups who claim the intercourse was forced on them by older male cousins or other relatives, and who have little or no knowledge about birth control. The other type comprises more affluent college students who are well aware of the consequences of what they are doing. The question remains, though: do they really know?

Anika 18, sadly states “You ask any young kid and they'll know at least three to four girls who have an abortions. I'm sure the number's more as people obviously like to keep such stuff hush-hush. They go with their friends or boyfriends and getting the money is no big deal. Abortion costs around Tk 6,000 or even less. The guy and girl 'go Dutch' or the friends help out and you're done. They're more scared about their parent's reaction to the pregnancy than anything else”.

This being a country with a Muslim majority, abortion is not encouraged or recognised by the government. Pregnancy termination is carried out under the name of Menstrual Regulation (MR), and maybe legally performed on pregnancies up to 12 weeks old. Termination of pregnancies advanced beyond 12 weeks is considered as illegal abortion, and is punishable by law. It must be added here, that even early termination is risky for first-time mothers, as there's an 80% risk of permanent infertility amongst other threats, not least of which is that abortion performed before age 18 increases the risk of developing breast cancer by 150%.

Who's Afraid of The Big Bad Bug?

Most adolescents here are very much ignorant about STDs and how they're transmitted. And when asked whether they practice safe sex and how they felt about accidental pregnancies the answers were nothing if not horrifying. Of the teens we spoke to, while most knew about condoms, many still preferred not to use them, because apparently it is less 'enjoyable'. The girls, many of them relying on sketchy ideas about menstrual cycles, don't insist on their partners using protection.

Very few, if any of our respondents were aware that STD's can occur even when there is no intercourse. With diseases like herpes, mononucleosis, and more spreading through exchange of saliva, you're not safe just because you're not 'going the whole way'.

Also STDs are sexist-they damage women much worse than men (refer to links). In a single act of unprotected sex with an infected partner, a teenage woman has 1% risk of

Let's Talk About Sex

All this shows how very important it's becoming to have comprehensive sex education in schools that include simple, straightforward and positive messages about sex, sexual relationships, reproduction and birth control, sexually-transmitted diseases, and sexual abuse.

Sadat, aged 25 emphasises, “You cannot stop people from having sex. But you can ensure that they practice it safely, which is imperative. Purchase of contraceptives should be made easier. Going to a pharmacy to get condoms, where everybody will smirk behind your back isn't a healthy sexual attitude towards guys let alone girls. There should be dispensaries or vending machines providing contraceptives and things like booklets on safe sex. They should also be available in supermarket shelves so that it saves the blushes to ask for it. And please; it's about high time we had sex education in our schools. Parents, relatives, our education system shy away from a subject still considered taboo. Big mistake. Big.”

Dr Sabin Afrin, gynaecologist, Dhaka Mahanagar Hospital disagrees about the viability of sex education programs in schools. In her opinion, in a conservative society like ours, such programs would not be welcomed by parents. Dr. Dilruba Nilufar, who echoes this sentiment, however, stresses on sex education at home. The Talk, when it happens between parents and preteens, and it must, if we are to protect our kids against these frightening circumstances, should cover more than the basic 'menstrual cycles and stay away from boys' package.

Information is power, and in this high-risk day and age, children and teens need all the information they can get. Refusing to talk about sex doesn't mean that children are safe, that nothing bad will happen to them. When you withhold information about sex, reproduction, the possibility of sexual abuse and contracting STDs from your children you are simply putting all children at risk.

To be more aware of how YOU can be at risk please visit:
http://www.proknowledge.org/
http://www.abortionfacts.com/reardon/effect_of_abortion.asp
http://womenshealth.about.com/od/stds/a/stdmythsvsfacts.html

By Sabrina F Ahmad and Simin Saifuddin

Special thanks to Dr Dilruba Nilufar and Dr. Sabin Afrin. All names (and places) of our other respondents have been changed to protect privacy.

Lulling on Our Lack of Libraries

My brother got recently married and during Boxing Day, I watched how the happy couple enthusiastically paged through all the books they’d received as gifts. To them the books were as expensive as the next toaster or dinner set. My own immediate thought was “Wow. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to receive Sattyajit Ray’s complete Feluda series as a wedding present?!” But the art of gifting people with cherished tomes seems to be disappearing amidst a visual culture of television, DVDs and the internet. Where to put the blame for this trend? There are simply so many factors to the equation.

I grew up around books. We had cable TV as well, with shows my brother and I were addicted to like the next average kid. But our parents took the time to instill in both us a deep appreciation for reading. They loved filling up the shelves with their favorite authors and introduced us to the magical, transforming power of books – their ability to transport us beyond our puny lives and to shape the very texture of our personalities. But the equation didn’t end there. They also took us on frequent trips to the library based inside the Army cantonment.

In the equation of fostering a reading culture, a library acts as a compounding device, allowing a child to multiply the efforts of parents and the school, and providing the materials to make this process possible. Today, with books and movies more expensive than ever, and television entertainment free-falling to the lowest levels of stupidity, the library provides a place and an incentive for children to progress in reading. Public libraries are also where ordinary citizens with limited funds and knowledge can gain both access and equity. These days they also serve a vital social role as Internet access points for people who’re otherwise unconnected to the information superhighway.

I feel envious when friends and relatives abroad talk to me of neighbourhood libraries that function like a gathering place; where communities find themselves. The book discussions, readings and classes, the homework help after school, the nods and hellos people exchange when they see each other at the library for the second or fifth or twentieth time, the librarians greeting people by name, and even the artwork that reflects the talents and interests of the neighborhood, all contribute to the connections that bind people in a community. People may go to the library looking mainly for information, but they find each other there.

My brother Sakib, a PhD student at the University of Wyoming, USA, pointed out that without libraries, a culture of constructive, thoughtful discussions and sharing of knowledge and information among the young generation can’t take place. People, he finds, even in his generation, don't have the understanding that two plus two makes more than four if knowledge is shared among friends, colleagues and acquaintances. He says that from his experience, it always leads to a win-win situation. Public/private libraries play a big role in developing this kind of ‘intelligentsia’ which can shape and guide the nation to move forward positively in the future.

He also pointed out the quality of writers we, Bangladeshis, possess and demanded that could anyone tell him why we aren’t having writers like Late Shahidullah Kaiser, Late Munir Chowdhury, Late Syed Waliullah or Late Kazi Nazrul Islam. He exclaimed "Forget about Maya Angelou, Milan Kundera, Gabriel García Márquez, Dominique Lapierre, or Naom Chomsky. If you look around, we don't even have quality authors like Shomoresh Majumder, Sunil Gangapadhya or Sattyajit Ray, who are from our neighboring Indian state of West Bengal." He expalined how they played, and are still playing, considerable roles in shaping the minds of the youth, who later become conscious citizens, a crucial factor for a society to progress with the middle class or bourgeois community taking the lead. There is a high probability that a strong middle class can provide us with capable leaders, which a developing country direly needs. He made the wry comment, "Writers like Humayan Ahmed, sorry to say, won’t be able to play a role like this. I believe libraries inspire you to dream and to write, but the quality of our local libraries today can hardly provide such inspiration".

The presence of libraries in Dhaka (forget the rest of the country) is needless to say deplorable. At present we have only six major libraries in the city. There is the British Council Library with audio-visual and internet facilities, the USIS library which has an article-alert service including newspaper microfilms, the Indian Information Service Library and the Bishwa Shahitya Kendra Library, with its unique mobile library service. But the conditions of the two Public libraries of the city – the Armanitola branch, previously known as the Northbrook Hall Library or the Lalkuthi Library, and the Mahanagar Pathagar at the south-eastern corner of Osmany Uddyan – makes me want to cry. The collection hasn’t been updated since time immemorial I’m sure, and whatever there is, is falling to ruins.

Top officials from the government and business sectors should realize the immense importance of having quality libraries and do their part in helping to reverse the current situation. I came across a news of how developers of the Glendale Mall in Indianapolis, USA approached the Indianapolis Marion County Public Library officials with a lease proposal offering over 33,000 Sft of space for a branch library that would serve as an anchor store in the mall. The library has been very successful, helping to revitalize the mall.

The day I see one of the countless urban community development projects like Bashundhara City, Jamuna Future Park or Japan Garden City have included a library in their plans, I will keel over. Not from shock but with the joy of having more opportunities to page through shelves of books stacked into neat rows. Books that whisper of far away kingdoms with fantastic, ethereal creatures; of nerve-wracking mysteries and wild, reckless adventures led by handsome heroes and beautiful heroines; of tales of human triumph and failure; of wisdom, love, hope, fear, despair and every other human emotion there is out there. Books that whisper of life.

Penning Today’s Songs of Patriotism

Mora ekti phul ke bachabo boley judhdho kori…

Amidst all the chaos, confusion and disintegration of the past 30 years, patriotism nowadays is by far a very low-key word for one of the smallest nations of the world. The love for a language which resulted in the freedom and birth of our beautiful nation, now seems to be getting lost further amidst the so-called brainwashing tactics of the Western culture via the media. But is that really the true scenario?

The new age youth of today, regardless of which part of the globe they’re from, do speak out about the socio-political stance of their countries through the one channel or medium that has again and again shown it’s power in reaching the masses, touching the hearts of millions and making an irrevocable stance – music. Although it does remain to be seen whether all the members of the youth are on par with the subject, one only has to look at the recent examples of concerts like LiveAid and the Princes Royal Trust (both of which have been running for years now) to realize one undeniable fact – music can reach the mass public and trigger mass awareness; it can make people come together to celebrate with the music and in turn raise issues or help the needy.

Because of the amount of exposure and coverage bands and musicians get these days, especially due to the much-appreciated entrance of two FM radio stations, Radio Today and Radio Foorti, a lot of people might have the misconception that Cryptic Fate’s latest album “Danob”, with songs like “Danob”, “Raag”, and “Political” and Hyder Hussein’s now-famous number “30 Bochor” are the only examples of how musicians, especially those from the young generation, are expressing their feelings and frustrations about the country’s on-going socio-political status quo.

But be it mainstream or underground, harnessing the power of music to convey social dissatisfaction and political protest has been a trend amongst local bands and musicians for a long time now. Warfaze is undoubtedly the band which has been the most pro-active in this aspect. One of their notable numbers which spring to mind raising serious questions about the socio-political stance of the country is “Jibondhara”. The song, with the signature Warfaze sound of high pitched vocals backed up by loud instruments, claws away at the state of the our plight as the citizens of this country.

Though when they’d started out there were serious doubts how well their works were being conveyed to the mass audience, time and again bands like Warfaze and Aurthohin have raised these issues in their albums, and to this date they still do – with numbers like “Dinbodol” and “Notun Diner Michile” whose lyrics literally shout out about issues on patriotism and winds of change for the country. Miles, in their groundbreaking albums “Protisruti” and “Prottasha”, gave us songs like “Keno Ora Rajpothey” and “Shanti Chai”. Bongabdo 1400 by Feedback gave us two gems of a song called ‘Uchho Podostho Todonto Committee’ and ‘Shamajik Koshtokathinno’.

And the Blacks, Artcells, and Arboviruses are not far behind either. The youth of today are playing their respective parts in penning songs of protest and frustrations. Examples include the heart wrenching patriotic number “Cholo Bangladesh” from Cryptic Fate, RaaGa’s “Ahoban”, and “Ami Protibaader Kotha” in Fuad’s soon to be released album “Bonno”. Though how much these works have brought about any visible change in us – the audience – is a debatable topic, such efforts deserve praise. Young hearts respond most to music – a speech they won’t recall but a great song they will remember and spread around. The air of change lies in the hands of the very youth, and giving the youth the power to bring about that change is integral for any country to progress and prosper.

Tagore might have stated “Shatkoti Shontaner He Mughdho Jononi, Rekhecho Bangali Korey…Manush Koroni”, but one cannot deny the fact that rather than shying away, our youth are very much trying to show their ‘Jononi’ all the love they hold for her in their being, through the universal appeal of music.

Posh n Plush Eateries to Please the Palette

In the look out for some eclectic cuisine? Restaurants, with a combination of attractive ambience and interesting menus? Well the following haunts, popular and deserving to be so, are the places to go. As they can get very busy later in the evening, most aficionados try to arrive before 8 p.m. so that they can settle in before the main crowd. Once seated, there’s never any pressure to leave, even if on a couple of evenings the night gets quite late. They’re places where it's great to relax, converse and slowly order things that have appeal at that moment in time.

Samdado (Hs 27, Rd 35, Gulshan 2; besides All Community Club)

The menu at Samdado’s is quite extensive – yummy soups, including a miso and a vegetable; Udon curry; various hot pots; fried noodles; tempura chicken and shrimp; a variety of salads like cucumber salads, seaweed salad, spinach salad with walnut sauce; and so on. But it’s the sushi here that’s literally to die for. It’s a common misconception that all sushi is raw fish. Only some sushi is raw. A lot of sushi is cooked or otherwise cured - smoked salmon, yellowtail, shrimp, crab, for example. Sushi comes in pairs, so every time you order something, you’ll receive two. Keep this in mind as you make your selections. Sushi pairs symbolize husband and wife. The Japanese wife would make two of each item in anticipation of her husband returning for dinner. At Samdado’s, you can receive the full visual and social experience that is personal and intimate, sitting right at the ‘sushi bar’ where you can watch and converse with the chef. You’ll soon discover that you’re experiencing a rich history and culture exemplified through food – how it’s prepared, presented, arranged on the plate, and eaten.

Le Saigon (54 Gulshan Ave.; falls on your left while traveling towards Gulshan 1 from Gulshan 2 circle)

For those craving Vietnamese food be sure to visit this place. There’s a charming conical roof of the porch, similar to that found on a Vietnamese farmer's hut and you’re even greeted by a doorman in grand costume. The décor inside also leans towards Vietnamese influences. The service is fast but unobtrusive. As for the food, the combination of herbs, spices, and sauces used make it quite different from Thai or Chinese cuisine. There are dishes from the three main Vietnam regions, north, central and south. Central food is considered more authentic because the north has been influenced by Chinese cuisine and the south by French, Thai, Indian, and, more recently, American. Fresh spring rolls, Pho Bo or Ga, (probably the most popular dish in Vietnam), diced beef in garlic butter, sliced beef slivers in Vietnamese pepper and onions, and beef rolls stuffed with picked onions are just a few items to relish here. One of the highlights on the menu is the Lau, a hot pot soup with your choice of fish, seafood, noodles, vegetables, chicken, beef, etc. added to a clear broth. Other than your usual menu offerings there’s also a dinner buffet some evenings at around Tk 700 a head.

Spice & Rice (Radisson Water Garden Hotel; falls on your left on the Airport Road leading towards the city)

This restaurant gives a whole new meaning to the art of fine dining. Spice & Rice has what one calls a ‘show-case’ kitchen and ‘entertaining’ dessert counter, celebrating the finest of Asian cuisine inspired by a combination of flavors from Bangla and the Indian Sub-Continent, Northeast and Southeast. Here there are NO menus, NO buffet. You’re wondering how is it then one gets to see, smell and savor the rich textures of Asian food? Well, here the waiters are more like tour guides. You’re escorted to your table by a waiter who will then regale you with a brief sketch of Pan Asia and South Asia and the history of spices. Then arrives a 16 course dinner, each dish from a different part of Asia. It’s like getting a history lesson on food, the best part being that you get to leave with a full and contended stomach.

Spitfire (NWF 8, Gulshan Ave., Ground Floor; take left turn from Gulshan 2 circle; falls on your left)
 
If you’re in the mood for a true-blue Barbeque experience, then hop over to this place. Decorated like a trendy steakhouse this place has logs for the ceiling, a life-like statue of a horse that is jutting its head into the restaurant with its body outside, and wooden tables set inside as well as out in the ‘front yard’. Spitfire’s menu boasts of meals made with imported meats, such as the T-bone steak made with halal American T-bone meat imported from Dubai, and lamb chops made with meat coming all the way from New Zealand. The rest of the menu is filled with other delicious continental cuisine such as ox-tail consommé with quail egg or stuffed pigeon ladled with brown sauce served with roasted potato and vegetables. Open air barbecues at Spitfire is a regular affair and the place is always abuzz with diners.

Saltz (NWF 8, Gulshan Ave., 1st floor; the floor above Spitfire)

The only one of its kind, this is really the only place in Dhaka where you can indulge in yummy dishes from the deep blue watery depths down below. The décor inside the restaurant, with its predominantly blue walls adorned with sea shells, boats and motifs of sea fishes, gives one the feeling of being literally under the sea. And the menu at Saltz is certainly exotic. There is the Chef's Special Soup – sliced Norwegian salmon, crunchy prawns, carrots, and shitake mushrooms, simmered in herbs – and main courses like the delicious Stir-fried Squid, served with seasonal vegetable and teriyaki sauce, with garlic bread on the side. There are Italian and Spanish specialties, some recipes from the Mediterranean coast, seafood pizza, a few Thai gourmet delights, shellfish galore, and an array of seafood sandwiches. Most of the seafood, other than those imported, comes daily straight from a regular supplier at Cox's Bazar. For the Catch of the Day, be it a whole bass, mackerel, pomphret or red snapper, you can choose the cooking style – pan-fried, poached or steamed, deep fried, grilled, or bbq’d – and the type of sauce in which you want it served – Thai ginger, lemon-butter, garlic-butter, yellow curry, barbecue, mushroom-mustard, etc. There is a terrace, where you can enjoy these dishes under the open sky, almost as if you were on the deck of a ship. So dive into Saltz’s cuisine one cool and clear evening. You’re sure to enjoy it.

Khazana (Hs 12, Rd 55, Gulshan Ave.; comes right before Spitfire)

Khazana has to be the treasure chest for Indian cuisine. To start with drinks, they have the most supreme collection of lassis – thick, rich, creamy and wonderfully frothy. Dishes like Saag Gosht, Machli Ke Sule, Fish Tikka Shaslik on a bed of raw papaya salad, Aachari Murg Tikka are mostly cooked in yogurt based gravy and in one word can be described as lip-smacking. The seasonal vegetables and mushrooms essentially cooked with a variety of hand-picked spices all imported from India and served with tomato chutney are to drool over. The naans are soft in texture and great to the taste. The exclusive paneer items served with mint and raita, assortment of chickpeas dishes, lovely collection of dahls, and meaty kebabs will make one sigh in bliss. Other prized dishes include Chana Chat, Raan Buzkazzi, Frontier Mix Grill and the Khazana Special Jelebi. Khazana also offers a lunch buffet at Tk. 399 per person all inclusive. Its interiors have a traditional ambience with a hint of western fusion, the wooden Elephant headpieces and hanging partitions reflecting the greatness of the Indian culture which blends beautifully with the soothing music and off-white drapes. The eye-catching paintings on the walls are actually for sale. So go and enjoy the impromptu art exhibition while savoring the wonderful items on the menu.

Vintage (Dhaka Sheraton Hotel, Ground Floor, 1 Minto Road)
 
The Vintage restaurant offers semi-formal dining in stylish surroundings and is famous for its haute cuisine. This restaurant has a fascinating décor that is very ‘vintage’ – Vintage gramophones, wall clocks, brass plates from antediluvian ships, and vintage wooden panels and chandeliers create a truly wonderful atmosphere. The menu is quite extensive with dishes prepared from a range of imported beef, game, poultry and seafood, complemented by a selection of fine wines. The restaurant, closed on Fridays, is open from 12:00-3:00 pm for lunch and 7:00 pm-12:00 am for dinner.

Koreana (Hs 5, Rd 136, Gulshan 1, the road between Anderssen’s Ice Cream and Abacus restaurant)
 
Whenever one thinks of Korean cuisine, the mind veers towards tofu, but there’s a lot more to it than that. At Koreana you can set yourself a leisurely pace to explore it all. There’s kimchi (virtually the national dish of Korea), pickled vegetables, usually first salted, then seasoned with garlic, ginger, chilli pepper, and salted fish, shrimps, or oysters. There are meat dishes like pulgogi (or bulgogi), a Korean style marinated barbequed beef cut into thin strips. There’s also kalbi, one of Korea's most famous grilled dishes – beef short ribs marinated overnight in a mixture of green onions, garlic, sugar, sesame oil, and soy sauce. For soups you can try sunbudu-jiggae, a soft tofu soup or maeun-tang, an outstandingly delicious hot and spicy fish soup that contains great chunks of fresh fish, stewed with chilies and kochujhang.

El Toro (Hs 1-A, Rd 138, Gulshan 1; the road beside Abacus restaurant)

El Toro meaning ‘the bull’, serves SONORAN-style Mexican food. Sonora is a high-desert country state of El Norte or the North. Established in 1994 El Toro is a place where each and every visitor is considered a “guest”, following the old Spanish adage – mi casa es su casa – my home is your home. The adequately lit ambience, the Mexican masks and artifacts, Mexican tunes, the flaming adobe walls, the cactus neon, the already popular menu items, everything adds to the diner’s eating out experience. Tacos, burritos, enchiladas, chimichangas, mouth-watering salsa, quesadillas, nachos, and fajitas are among some of the Mexican favorites that the chefs prepare, using fresh ingredients, with a soulful passion and consistency. El Toro is also famous for a unique dessert rightfully named “Deep Fried Ice-Cream”…covered in corn flake crumbs. The taste you ask? Simply yummyliscious! Generous portions of El Toro food on the average is Tk. 250 per person. The ‘fiesta’ at El Toro begins at 11:30 am and ends at 10:30 pm everyday.

Café Bazar (Pan Pacific Sonargaon Hotel, 107 Kazi Nazrul Islam Ave.)
 
Located on the lobby level, Café Bazar recently got a face-lift from the world renowned Master Chef, Davied Jones, who’s decided to run a different theme each day for lunch and dinner, focusing on quality food from particular regions, giving guests global tastes every day of the week. The regional cuisines served are what’s globally deemed to be the most popular, and the dishes are very well known to many. At this buffet style restaurant, the quality food is plentiful and the range of dishes vast without sacrificing the authentic flavors and recipes. The place focuses on specialty days such as Thai on Mondays, Arabic on Tuesdays, Vietnamese on Wednesdays, Chinese on Thursdays, Bangladeshi on Fridays, International on Saturdays, and American on Sundays. Café Bazar stays open from 12:30-3:30 pm for lunch and 7-10:30 pm for dinner.

Prepared with a budget between BDT 1,000 to 2,000 for a nice time out for two, your time at these posh eateries is sure to be a great culinary experience, each and every time.

Blackout Blues or Bliss?

‘I SOOO miss load-shedding, you know!!’ Yup! Of all the absurd things that one can imagine someone to say, that little statement would definitely top MY list. Or at least, it did until I gave it some serious thought. That comment was made by a friend of mine, Rohena, doing her undergrad in the U.S.

At first I found her comment absurd. I mean how can one miss load-shedding?!! It’s SUCH a pain!!!

I mean picture this…You’re watching an awesome movie or a TV show, and they’re just at the precipice of the climatic scene….or you’re working on a report or case study which is due early next morning…like say 8:00 a.m. (yea, the faculty is just like Meryl Streep’s character from the movie ‘The Devil Wears Prada’)….right around that time everything shuts down….bam! The only comment that can encompass ALL your frustrations, irritation and general bad malaise at that exact moment is ‘Arrrrrrggghhhhhh!!!!’

But then while brainstorming about a copy for an ad with my colleagues, it just suddenly came to me…the thought that there ARE certain great things that go with load-shedding.

Since nearly all the modern entrapments of our life generally become obsolete during a blackout, suddenly everyone in the apartment or house veer towards a single room…usually the living space or the biggest veranda around…and by the flickering candlelight or, if your charge light’s still working then by its white light, you have an impromptu get-together… ‘So..how was your day?’ or ‘Hey! Wanna have a game of Ludo or Life or Scrabble?’ You share jokes and viewpoints, laugh at new and happening things. In short, you family gels…for a brief moment in time. And somehow because everything around you is silent…no hum of the AC or fan or anything…every other sound of nature…the cree-cree of the crickets, the rustle of the tree leaves in the breeze, the distant sound of a rickshaw bell…is beautifully enhanced.

I guess when it comes down to the crux of the matter…everything in life…has a positive side. My father recently jumped the ‘IPS’ bandwagon…and so even when we do have blackouts there’s still electricity…so we remain in our respective rooms, behind closed doors…literally as well as figuratively.

So the next time there’s a blackout…take the time out…think about all those people like Rohena who no longer faces load-shedding but misses its quirks. Do without the IPS’s so-called favor. And have your own impromptu family gathering for a brief moment in time.

Musings about Bangla Music

“There’s a lot more to music than notes on a page….playing music is suppose to be fun! It’s about heart! It’s about feelings and moving people and something beautiful in being alive! It’s NOT about notes on a page!”

- Richard Dreyfuss, as the character Glen Holland in “Mr. Holland’s Opus”

I grew up in a household where music was a daily part of life. As a kid, I remember rummaging through the numerous tapes in “the drawer” – yes, there was this single drawer on the bedside table in my parents’ bedroom where they used to keep their much cherished music collection. The rock and pop renditions of ABBA, BonyM, Harry Belafonte, Nat ‘King’ Cole and Cliff Richard. Debobrata and Chinmoy’s renditions of Rabindra Shangeet. The ghazals of the Jagjit and Chitra Singh duo and Pankaj Udhas. The adhunik songs of Hemanta, Lata, Shamol, Manna Dey, Asha, Bhupen Hajarika and Srabonti Majumdar. And of course, from our own soil, the works of Ferdous Wahid, Azam Khan, Fakir Alamgir and Pilu Momtaz.

The furniture may have changed through the years and the bedside table with it’s designated drawer might look quite different now but those tapes belonging to my parents are still there – my mother, being the better music aficionado of the two, have carefully kept them in as good a condition as possible so that when the mood strikes, one can still listen to Azam Khan belting out “Ischool Khuila Chere Mowla” or “Orey Saleka, Orey Maleka”.

Also, hats off to my parents for enrolling me in ‘Abbasuddin Shangeet Academy’, a music school run by Ferdousi Rahman (or Ferdousi Khalamoni as affectionately called by her students), Abbasuddin’s daughter and an eminent singer by her own right. There I was taught by her and other veterans like Abdul Latif, to fall in love with, among others, bhawaiya, bhatiali, jaari, shaari, Lalon geeti and Hason Raaja’s songs. Though I never did get to complete the requisite four years, the couple of years that I did spent acquanting myself with those songs are beyond measure.

And I remember how when a bunch of us cousins or friends would get together, there would be a harmonium in the house or somebody would have an acoustic guitar, and we’d dance or sing along to the beat of someone doing a cover of the awesome rock and pop songs of the 80s and 90s era - Runa Laila’s “Shilpi Ami” or “Bondhu Tin Din”, Sabina Yasmin’s “Ei Mon Tomake Dilam”, Ferdous Wahid’s “Biral’er Chana”, or “Amon Akta Ma Dena”, Feedback’s “Melai Jai Re”, Souls’ “Mon Shudhu Mon Chueyeche”, Miles’ “Dhiki Dhiki Agun Joley”, Khaled’s (Chime) “Shorolotar Protima”, Dolchut’s “Pori” or “Gari Chole Na”, James’ “Ma”…the list is endless!

Through all the years of my eclectic experience of music, I have learnt one irrefutable fact – the most prestigious asset of the Bangalees is their culture and the brightest element of Bangla’s cultural heritage is its songs. One cannot deny that Bangla music forms an integral part of any Bangla cultural festival and that on any given day, when you are struck with a desire to indulge in nostalgic feelings, the best way to spark that particular mood is to listen to your favorite Bangla song be it a time-immemorial Rabindra Shangeet or a classic adhunik gaan.

It’s no wonder that BBC Bangla recently had listeners nominate their top five choices for the all time best Bangla songs to create a top 20 list (see below). The local HSBC bank also decided to pay homage to Bangla music through compiling some of the most memorable Bangla songs composed over 100 years, from 1905 till 2005. They recently arranged a four-hour gala performance with the participation of some of the most prominent vocalists of the country. Starting with our national anthem “Amar Shonar Bangla Ami”, renowned songs like “Aji Bangladesher Hridoi Hote”, “Karar Oi Louho Kopat”, “Shedin Dujone Dule Chinu Bone”, “Oki Garial Bhai”, “Ranar Chuteche Ranar”, “Ore Neel Doria”, “Kobita Porara Prohor Esheche”, and many more, were presented to an enthralled audience. At the insistence of the invited guests and performers, HSBC later came out with nearly 5,000 audio CDs of the live performance, as gifts for their patrons and associates.

Needless to say, such efforts were received with great appreciation by the veteran members of the music industry; maybe due to the fact that so much attention is now being given to today’s generation’s need for fusion renditions, they were starting to feel a bit left out.

I am of a similar opinion.

Though fusion is a great step being taken by artists and bands like Dolchut, Habib, Bangla, and Fuad (of Maya 1, Maya 2, Re-Evolution and Variation No. 25 fame) to revive the interest of the youth in Bangla music, it is also important to ensure that complementary steps are taken to keep the original nuances and styles of these songs alive. Otherwise the historical impact of a language and culture that on the global front, are now the envy of many, will slowly fade from our hearts and memories.

As so beautifully put by Mr. Holland, we have to ensure that Bangla music holds on to its own special ingredient of ‘feelings and moving people and something beautiful in being alive’ for many years to come.

BBC Bangla “Shorbo Kaaler Shorbo Sreshtho Bangla Gaan”

1. Amar Shonar Bangla (Author: Rabindra Nath Thakur)

2. Manush Manush’er Jonney (Original Author/Composer/Singer: Bhupen Hazarika, Translated to Bengali by: Shibdash Benarjee)

3. Amar Bhai’er Roktey Rangano Ekushey February (Singer: Abdul Gaffar Chowdhuri, Composer: Altaf Mahmud)

4. Coffee House’er Shei Adda Ta Aaj Aar Nei (Singer: Manna De, Author: Gouriproshonno Mazumdar, Composer: Shupornokanti Ghosh)

5. Ek Shagor Rokte’er Binimoye Banglar Shadhinota Anlo Jara (Composer: Apel Mahmud, Author: Gobindo Haldar)

6. Ami Banglai Gaan Gai (Lyricist & Composer: Protul Mukharjee, Author: Mahmuduzzaman Babu)

7. Mora Ekti Phulkey Bachabo Boley Judhho Kori (Author: Gobindo Haldar, Composer & Singer: Apel Mahmud)

8. Tumi Aaj Koto Durey (Singer: Jogonmoi Mitro, Author: Pranab Roy, Composer: Shubol Dash Gupta)

9. Ek Nodi Rokto Periye (Author & Composer: Khan Ataur Rahman, Composer: Shahnaz Rahmatulla)

10. Dhono Dhanno Pushpey Bhora (Author & Composer: Dijendhrolal Roy)

11. Muchey Jawa Din Gulo Amai Je Pichu Daakey (Singer & Composer: Hemanta Mukharjee, Author: Gouriproshonno Mazumdar)

12. Salam Salam Hajar Salam (Singer: Mohammad Abdul Zabbar, Author: Fazle Huda)

13. Joy Bangla, Banglar Joy (Author: Mazharul Anwar, Composer: Anwar Parvez)

14. Khachar Bhitor Ochin Pakhi (Author: Lalon Shah, Singer: Farida Parvin)

15. Akbar Jetey Dey Na Amar Chotto Shonar Gaaye (Singer: Shahnaz Rahmatullah, Author: Mazharul Anwar, Composer: Anwar Parvez)

16. Karar Oi Louho Kopat (Author: Kazi Najrul Islam)

17. Ei Padma Ei Meghna (Singer: Farida Parvin, Author & Composer: Abu Zafar)

18. Chol Chol Chol, Urdhogogone Baajey Madol (Author: Kazi Najrul Islam)

19. Ak Tara Tui Desh’er Kotha Bol (Singer: Shahnaz Rahmatullah, Author: Gazi Mazharul Anwar, Composer: Anwar Parvez)

20. Tumi Ki Dekhecho Kobhu Jiboner Porajoy (Singer: Mohammad Abdul Zabbar)

Source: http://www.bbc.co.uk/bengali/news/story/2006/05/060502_mbsheragaan.shtml

movie quote of the day

from the movie 'fools rush in' starring matthew perry n salma hayek...i LOVE this flick

there's a scene where alex (matthew's character) goes:

"What is dating anyway?! Except some long drawn out process of elimination where you both try to present your best side, while hiding the real you. And that can only last about 3 months anyway, because eventually it leaks out, and then you have to spend the next 3 months getting to know your real selves. Then one of you wants a commitment, the other one wants to bail, and then you have to start all over again. I mean, dating... dating ...is stupid."

Monsoon Memoirs

I laugh with raindrops,
Drunk with the fun of them…
And hold in my two hands
One hundred and one of them…

I read those four lines somewhere once – and my immediate thought was how appropriately it expressed the joy one feels when getting wet in the rain, on any given day, during the monsoon season.

If someone denies the innate earning to feel the touch of rain drops drum an addictive beat down on one’s person, I’d say that he or she were lying through their teeth. No matter the age, this desire will never, ever fade – it’s part of our childhood, our culture – in short, it’s in our blood.

Monsoon season is weaved with memories that repeat themselves every year like an ongoing love affair. The green garb of Mother Nature somehow seems more lush, the sky is always overcast as if the heavens above will open up any minute and a curtain of rain will come down, washing away all the stains and coaxing forth all things pure and cleansed. It’s as if the earth is re-born each time. There is the rather tense, caught-in-a-moment, oppressive mood right before it starts to rain and once it stops, a blissful feeling of peace permeates the air along with the unforgettable smell of the damp earth. And of course we get the refreshing cool, cool breeze – I even have a friend who opened an email account ‘xirxire’, a connotation of the phrase jhirjhire batash, because she loves it so much!

Here in the city, we see tokais jumping with unconcealed joy in the rain. We see the romantic picture of a couple huddling under an umbrella. We see families and friends enjoying a hot cup of tea with daal puri or jhaal muri or a lunch of dola-khichuri with bhuna-goshto and aachar. We see little kids playing hari-patil or making paper boats to float down a make-shift rain stream or puddle, dragging their elders into the fun, who are only too happy to join in. And can one forget cruising by inside a car and drawing childish nonsense on the fogged up windows? I STILL do that.

Farmers in the rural areas look up to the sky and shed tears of relief and joy in cadence with Mother Nature shedding the first onslaught of monsoon rains…filling rivers, canals and streams to the brim that help water parched lands and yield bumper harvests.

Monsoon memoirs thus entail romance, happiness, hope, good fortune and new beginnings. So it’s time to get drenched in all that is monsoon – time to get drunk with the fun of them.