Gun-Gun Gaye-Halud

If someone where to ask me what are the things that constitute as major pains in the a.. uhh.. tush, I’d say sitting for hours on end like a statue during your own Gaye Halud (which literally means turmeric on the body) and wedding has got to make the top five on the list.

I don’t know which one is the lesser of the two evils though. I think..umm..the Wedding? Yes. I mean just think. In the Gaye Halud, it’s traditional to sit with your legs folded under you...and yes...guys have it easier, being able to sit cross-legged...darn it! Naturally after several torturous hours of sitting in this awkward pose, you realize your lower half has gone totally numb and that as soon as you’ll try to change your position, you’ll feel as if a thousand pins and needles are attacking your legs. Then there’s the torment of having ‘kacha haldi baata’ smeared on your face, which if you have sensitive skin, can make you face feel as if it were on fire after a while. Many people these days, in need of salvation from this torture, have resorted to using uptaan. In a wedding, you at least don’t have to go through such horrendous ordeals. Not that sitting in a throne-like chair like a beautiful statute and having camera lights pointed at you for hours on end is anything to laugh about.

But wait. I do believe I’m painting too black a picture of what is perhaps the one occasion in a wedding where everyone gets to have the most fun. I mean where else do you get the meye pokhkho and cheley pokhkho each enjoying the fun of dressing up in their own respective similar, themed clothes? Or to perform parody songs meant to rib the bride or the groom and their young family members? I’ve even seen short skits being performed – say where the bride’s cousins acted in comic roles portraying someone from the groom’s side of the family, again all in good fun. And where else do you get to have a whole separate box of funny, humorous items as ‘gifts’ for the groom during the Cheler Gaye Halud? Where else but here do all the young ladies and gents of the biye bari get to flirt and check each other out and perhaps, after the main ritual of giving gaye halud is over, even cut a little rug on a make-shift dance floor to the thumping tunes of the latest Hindi number. The Gaye Halud of course.

So yes, this is one event during your entire Wedding where you get to have the most fun and so you’d like it to be abso-freaking-lutely perfect. And in my opinion, though every single aspect of the Gaye Halud, from the stage and flower arrangement to the food to how and with what gifts the groom’s family will be welcomed counts, I think it’s very crucial that one designs the cultural program for the Gaye Halud properly. After all if the entertainment and music is all “blah!” everyone will leave feeling all “blah!” as well! Not an outcome one wants to end up encountering in one’s picture-perfect wedding.

So first and foremost if you’re planning to have your siblings, nieces or cousins rendering songs, skits and dance routines, you should ensure that you or someone capable enough design the whole program schedule so that each song, skit and dance takes place in an orderly sequence. The key point is a smooth-as-butter transition.

For dance routines I wish people would choose Bangla songs like Jadu (Habib), Miththey Prem (Yaatri) or Shukno Patar Nupur Paye (Fuad featuring Mila) rather than the Hindi numbers. I’d prefer to leave those for the DJ or hired band to belt out for the dance party later on – if you’re planning to have a DJ or live band that is.

For rendering songs, age old numbers like Lila Bali, Biyar Shajoni Shajo Konnalo and Halud Bato, Mehendi Bato are good choices. As for parodies, some family members with good penmanship needs to sit down and simply change certain wordings of popular songs like Abar Jigai (Stoic Bliss), Pan Khaiya Thot Lal Korilam, Shonen Shonen Shudhi Jona, etc, to turn into hilarious accounts. And there is of course the infamous Puthi Path. Skits can be just as easily written out, but in the end all these separate routines – songs, dance sequence, skits, etc. – need to be practiced from at least two months before the actual event. I say two as I’m assuming everyone has their own busy schedule and they can’t just drop everything at the last moment and make it to practice every other day, so it’s a good idea to put the weekends to good use.

And yes a good quality sound system is a must. I mean just imagine. You and your Machiavellian family members will slave over writing some jolly good parodies and skits, but if all that the guests and bride/groom’s family end up hearing are garbled noises...well...that’s a perfect “Aaarrggh!” situation I’d say. In any case, a pair of bad speakers ends up giving everyone a splitting headache. So arrange for a good sound system! Many good bands and DJs these days come with a ‘package’ offer – musical instruments, sounds, lights – the whole thingamajig. You need to make sure from your end that you specify your expectations properly as they can offer you a range of rates as per your requirements. Also, if you have a favourite “track list” of Bangla, Hindi and English numbers which you’d like the band or the DJ to perform, than you need to tell them the list at least a month or three days beforehand respectively.

At end of the day “planning ahead” should become your mantra as it’s the only thing that will ensure that everything comes together without a hitch. But do make sure you don’t fall into the trap of becoming obsessive compulsive. “Delegating” should be your other mantra. You wedding is suppose to be your moment of joy and triumph and not end up giving you high blood pressure, raw nerves and dark circles under your eyes. Before going to bed each night, sit back against you fluffed-up pillows on your bed with a cup of hot, relaxing, aromatic tea and in an un-hurried and un-harried manner, make a list for everything that needs to be done, including what needs to be bought/hired when, from where and within what budget. Then, in due time just hand it over to the most-competent person to manage and implement. You? You should be nothing more than an “ad-hoc supervisor”.

Well then...I hope you get to have tons of fun planning for and then enjoying your Gaye Halud (your whole wedding to be precise) to the hilt. Bon voyage on you new life journey!

For sound/light systems:
1. Sound Machine: 8317601, 9343628, 01817042270, 01915472700, 01915472704
2. Sound Storm: 01711537571
3. SAS Compact Tunes: 8319898, 01711521142
4. Live Sound: 01713014991